Why “stepping out of your comfort zone”?

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona)

I often get asked about why I am so passionate about sharing stories of people stepping out of their comfort zone. So today I thought I would tell you all! 

The answer is twofold, with the simpler part being I love that I can give people an opportunity to share their stories. To be honest that part was unexpected. I didn’t realise that so many people had stories that they had no platform to share.  I am honoured to be able to provide them that outlet. 

The other part is less straightforward. I am hoping that by sharing such a variety of stories about what can happen outside your comfort zone that I encourage others to step out of theirs.  

Comfort zones are lovely – hence the name – and it can be easy to stay there. Sometimes it is important to stay there for many reasons.  

But sometimes a step outside of that zone can create magic. Not always. Sometimes you fail. But you learn. And sometimes you succeed and experience fantastic outcomes. You grow. You change. You become more confident. 

If you google “Benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone” a plethora of articles appear. 4, 5, 7 and 16 reasons why to do so. Some are very concrete – new challenges improve brain health, you get to experience something new and possibly learn a new skill. Others are more subjective such as increased resilience, as your comfort zone expands new opportunities become visible. 

Stepping out of my comfort zone has led to some of my most memorable experiences – from moving overseas, bungee jumping, gliding, public speaking, attending a summit, to playing a singing bowl. It has also led to some of my most uncomfortable moments – feeling nauseous as the glider was put into a sharp turn, asking the CEO to be interviewed for my blog (he said maybe later this year). But overwhelmingly the experiences have been positive. Though sometimes that is only on reflection! 

So after a lot of words – my second reason is that I want as many people as possible to experience the benefits that come with taking that step into the uncomfortable. 

Facing your Fears

Image supplied by Taniya
Words by me (Fiona) based on Taniya’s story

Taniya shared with me a story about facing a fear again and again! 

Taniya’s tale starts about 5 years ago “I went snorkelling with a few friends in Exmouth and I got caught in a rip. I didn’t know what to do. Another friend of mine was swimming with me but he was far ahead. I screamed out, tried to swim again it – no one heard me, I was absolutely exhausted and I thought that was it! My friend finally realised that I wasn’t there and he swam over to save me and help me back to shore.” 

You won’t be surprised to know that this caused Taniya to fear swimming anywhere her feet were not firmly on the ground. “I tried a year later to face the fear but I absolutely could not, I kept panicking and my body” 

This situation continued until 2018.  At this stage Taniya would only go out in water that was waist deep. And then: “My partner picked up a new hobby – kite boarding. I would sit out on the beach and watch him and the rest of our friends kite board out in the ocean, they would come back in at the end of their session and be loving life.” 

Taniya decided that enough was enough! It was time for her to give kite boarding a go. “It wasn’t easy, not for me and I definitely didn’t make it easy for my partner. Kite boarding was literally taking the kite and going into the deep water, if you lose your board you need to drag yourself in the water with your kite, if you lose the kite then somehow you need to remain calm and relaunch it as you get carried out into sea, sometimes things can go wrong and you need to self rescue yourself and use the kite as a sail as you physically hang onto it the water to get back to shore  and god forbid, if your kite blows up in the mid-air, you’ve got nothing there to save you!” 

I must admit that sounds pretty full on even without a fear of swimming in deep water!  Taniya persisted “I was a very slow learner, at first I would only go to beaches which had a long stretch of shallow water. This was an easier way for me to step out of my comfort zone but not jump into it all together. And now one year later, I can say that I’m a pretty confident kiter. I can go into deep water however I still can’t do a down winder yet (kite from one suburb to another in the ocean). That is my next chapter to conquer.” 

And it is easier after a year of kite boarding? 

“It’s not a happy ending story, every time I go out it’s an internal battle for me, do I go out into the deep? Do I just stay where it’s comfortable and glide along in the shallows? And sometimes I don’t get out of my comfort zone, I just stay in parts which are shallow, but I’m still proud of how far I’ve come and I’ve got a long way to go but I’m working on it! 

I’m proud of Taniya too! 

And Taniya’s last words: “I hope you enjoyed the story, not only did my experience teach me about resilience in my personal life but I’ve definitely learnt to implement that in work too.” 

About Taniya: 

I’m a HR consultant in the IT industry 

I’m passionate about the outdoors, traveling and animals 

If you don’t find me at work or the beach you’ll definitely find me at a restaurant

I also love hearing about inspiring stories from people so if you have one I’d love to hear about it 

MY COACHING JOURNEY – A VIDEO BLOG

The idea behind this vlog is to share my journey as I move from where I am in my career now towards something that brings me as much joy as this blog does.

This first vlog is already 2 weeks old, I had some trouble with finding editing software I could intuitively understand. Excuse the watermark! I will redo this video without it if people are interested in me doing more. It requires an investment of several hundred dollars, or to keep hunting for free software I understand!

I would love feedback on it (I was told not to look straight at the camera but it looks wrong to me for example!) and an indication of interest in more like this!

Please see below for an audio transcript:

Hi, my name is Fiona and I am the creator and author of the blog stepping out of your comfort zone where I interview people and share my own stories about stepping out of your comfort zone. Today what I wanted to talk to you about is why I created the blog, where I am in my career path at the moment and where I’d like to be. And the idea is that this vlog will be an ongoing story of how I move closer to where I’d actually like to be in my career. So I started the blog a in January this year, so about five months ago, as a result of reading some books by Dorie Clark. I recommend them if you haven’t read them. And also talking to a couple of people, my friend Mark Baker, and some people at work. What I was passionate about was sharing stories about stepping out of the comfort zone to encourage other people to do the same. I personally have found that when I step out of my comfort zone, that is when awesome things happen. And I hear lots of people nervous about doing that, they’re scared of failing. They don’t take risks. Lots of people do, don’t get me wrong, but there are people who don’t. And I feel like they’re missing out. So the idea of the blog was to say, Hey, good things happen out of the comfort zone. Why don’t you give it a try? Do something small, you know, walk a different way home, whatever it is, that step out of the comfort zone, and just see what happens. I wanted to originally do public speaking, but I’m a long way for being prepared to do that. So a blog was a logical place to start and then I worried I wouldn’t have enough stories. So the idea came up of interviewing other people.

I really love that idea but wasn’t sure other people would. Turns out when I asked lots of people were happy to share their stories and to my honour people actually thanked me in some cases for giving them a platform for sharing their stories. So it’s been really fantastic. When I was asked at a summit a couple of weeks ago, what I was passionate about, it wasn’t my day job. I love my day job, don’t get me wrong, but what I’m really passionate about is stepping out of my comfort zone and encouraging other people to do the same. So I talked to people about my blog, and then I talk to people about the fact that my blog was here, and my career was here. And I got some tips about how to bring those two closer together.

I don’t know exactly what it’s going to look like. But my goal is definitely to bring the two of them closer together. And one thing that has happened to do that is, I have as of Monday, four days ago, started as a ways of working coach at Telstra, where work where I’ll be learning about coaching, facilitating training, also about agile, lean, DevOps and human centred design. Now, I think that’s an excellent first step towards my ultimate goal, which I’m not sure that’s what that looks like yet. But plan is I’ve next 12 months to learn all I can about all of those seven topics, particularly coaching, facilitating and training, and then also use that time to explore what I’d like to do next. What next step brings me closer to the passion that I find doing this blog. And what I plan to do is share that journey through this video log. So I hope that you enjoy it. I hope that over time I get closer to working out what next looks like.

Some of the suggestions have been a book, including some of the stories, which could lead potentially to speaking. That’s a very ambitious target for me right now. The other option is becoming a coach to encourage people to step out of their comfort zone. And that’s something that also has some real appeal. Whether enough people are interested in that just to make it a career, again, I don’t know. But the first step is to learn about coaching, facilitating and training and discovering if I do love them as much I think I’m going to, and working out what next and in the meantime, hopefully, building up some more readership on my blog, and maybe getting some new watchers/listeners via my video blog. Thank you very much for listening, and I will talk again next week. Thank you.

Encouragement can lead to amazing outcomes


Photo by Jamie Fenn on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona) based on a story shared by Yasmin

I first saw Yasmin as she and 4 other fabulous women walked in unison to the stage at the SheEO summit to acknowledge their success as the inaugural Australian SheEO Venture cohort. Women across Australia generously gave money to create the base of a perpetual fund and then voted on which women led Australian businesses were most deserving of this years’ interest free loans. Yasmin, and her company – Worlds Biggest Garage Sale – was one of the amazing women who were successful. The criteria included making a positive difference in the world, which World’s Biggest Garage Sale certainly does.  

Yasmin’s most recent experience of stepping out of her comfort zone was with regards to applying to be a SheEO Venture. 

“I wasn’t going to apply, predominately because as an Activator, I felt that I had already been able to get involved in a network globally shaping change. I was encouraged by someone close to me to apply, which I did with some hesitation.  I felt like we had a scalable and investable company, however a small part of me had some form of imposter syndrome emerging.  I wasn’t sure what it all meant at the time, but I pushed through and ignored the voice inside my head, instead, listening to my heart and gut, both of which were telling me to push through and apply.” 

I love that Yasmin listened to her heart and applied as a Venture. She did have some hesitations though: “I was weary getting into a ‘female only’ thing, I have always pulled away from this kind of group.  Having never really subscribed to men/women only movements, it was uncomfortable at the start to align myself to a ‘single sex’ initiative.” 

Despite the reservations, Yasmin moved forward with her application: “I did it to step out of my comfort zone, because that’s where the magic happens after all.  Since doing so, I have grown significantly……not because of any single one person, but because of the collective strength of a team of people passionate about real change in the world.  It’s quite humbling to know that I am a small part of something really big!” 

“Other than the honour of becoming one of the Australian Ventures (which is amazing and we’re incredibly grateful for the support from the Australian SheEO Activators!!), the outcome was also some deep personal growth in the realisation that there are many women out there doing exceptional work, which is often understated. I am also thrilled to have spent a few days with the 4 other Ventures, finding myself connecting to 4 strong women, each building a scalable and sustainable business that’s changing the world.  These new friendships will go beyond the SheEO movement, which was the most surprising and wonderful bonus of all.” 

When I asked Yasmin how she felt about stepping out of her comfort zone this way, she had some really positive outcomes. “I felt awkward to begin with, but it quickly transformed into a deep sense of connection, which ignited something inside that really moved me.  I felt connected to a new ‘tribe’ of people who were going to help beyond the basics.  It was a feeling that I’ve not experienced, where I can equally contribute generously, where giving and receiving of time, experience and even love was encouraged and embraced. It unlocked something inside that has me doing things that I might not have otherwise done had it not been for this.” 

And Yasmin’s advice for anyone considering stepping out of their comfort zone? “My advice is simple! When you step outside of your comfort zone, and I mean really take a giant leap outside of it… it is here that you will find what you have been searching for.  I have always dabbled in out of the comfort zone experiences, and I have never ever regretted it.  This experience was a big leap, and I’m glad I took it.  

If something inside of you feels right, but you’re worried about how others might perceive it, or whether you will yourself enjoy taking that new road, I say DO IT.  You know inside of your soul what feels right, so any last words from me here will simply have you nodding along knowing what you need to do.  So what’s stopping you?  GO!!!!” 

Thank you Yasmin! 

About Yasmin: 

I’m the girl that sat in the front row in class, a firstborn child with energy to burn, having worn many hats throughout my career including: sales, business development, manager/leader, project management, training & admin, HR, customer experience, intrepreneur and most recently an entrepreneur.  

Best summed up as a multipotentialite!  

My WHY? is simple!! To make a difference and create meaningful impact daily. 

Sage Advice

Image by me (Fiona)
Words by me (Fiona) based on a story generously shared by Joanna

I interviewed Joanna on a cloudy Thursday morning in Melbourne – but in Bend, Oregon where she resides it was a sunny Wednesday afternoon!  I was really privileged to hear Joanna’s story – not just because she reached out to me from the USA – because she shared what she learned from her experience of stepping out of her comfort zone. 

Joanna found herself a successful lawyer on the track toward partnership, living in a wonderful place. “I was a top young antitrust associate in terms of popularity and the go-to person. I was in Silicon Valley. I was literally walking down pretty streets and basking in the wonderful weather down there.” But despite of that and, for a variety of reasons, “I wanted to leave and do something different.” 

Initially Joanna went to grad school and ended up being an urban/environmental planner. “This new career was so at odds with what I had to bring to the table. I ended up jumping back into the law.  I worked in a certain area of law that exposed me to regulations around safer consumer products.” 

Joanna was inspired to start a software company around those regulations as a result. Due to a number of reasons, her start-up struggled and over a number of years it slowly wound down. “I was building a compliance tool and relying on regulations that had already been passed and I never anticipated that they would politically collapse and implode on themselves; as a result, I had to reinvent our compliance tool as a sustainability tool. And at some point we just ran out of steam as a team to keep pushing forward.” 

Joanna went through some really difficult times. “Some bad news would hit just I was scheduled to go present to a big audience and I was just feeling as if physically my body was turning to ice or stone.  At the time, I did not know how to deal with that.” 

Out of the experience Joanna had some really great insights. She discovered she was most interested in the customer discovery aspects of entrepreneurship “in terms of understanding your customer and using customer insights to inform the whole entrepreneurial process including your products, your marketing content, and your business strategy. And so I started focusing on that. And through that process, I started to really understand that my techniques of customer discovery were the key.” 

Her learning was not limited to developing her own customer discovery techniques, Joanna also took time to really look at her mindset: “I was really unpacking what was going on with me emotionally. I mean, there were so many layers of shame going on. There I was, coming from this successful law background, and in my view I had failed. And failure is always relative, always subjective. There are people who have made millions who consider themselves failures and kind of disappear in a hole. So it’s very subjective. And I also started to figure out that so much of what I was capable of doing at any given moment was very much driven by my emotional body. What I have packed in, what I had learned to internalize, what I assumed about myself and the world. Over time, it almost became like this revelation about having the right mindset.  If you’re an entrepreneur, you really have to have this entrepreneurial mindset that allows you to tap into what’s going on with yourself, what fears you have any in any given time. And rather than do what we all do (which is to shove that emotion away as quickly as possible), it’s actually [important] to steep in it on a very physical level. Physically feel the churning in your stomach, the burning around your heart, etc. And so that’s been a big part of what I’ve been focusing on and sharing with other entrepreneurs to help them become successful.” 

Joanna believes that flexibility is the key, and that the most successful people in school and as employees are often the ones who find it hardest to cope with failure as entrepreneurs. They are not emotionally prepared. Joanna herself thinks that she should have let herself feel the anguish she was experiencing as she pivoted her start-up, instead of bottling it up. Hiding from the feelings let the problems drag on. 

And what has Joanna done with all this amazing experience and insight? “I started a consulting firm—DESi Potential (desipotential.com)–to help emerging companies and innovators gain market traction, do the customer discovery, and figure out what’s going on with their mindset. Some of the startups I work with are much more advanced; many have been around for three years, five years, even 10 years, but they’re still sorting stuff out. And that’s what I help people with – sorting that stuff out in terms of the product and the customer in their market fit. Using what I learned, my own experience to help [them] avoid the same pitfalls. After my personal experience, I can really see it in people’s faces and behavior when they are struggling in certain areas. You can totally relate because you’ve seen it in yourself and your peers. And then once you see it in yourself, you see it in a whole bunch of people.” 

For other people thinking about stepping out of their comfort zone, Joanna had an interesting point of view. She thinks that “entrepreneurs and innovators tend to be more comfortable with risk and with new stuff; however, society in general tends to be more risk averse and more ingrained in their habits. It is important to understand these differences and how they play out when you’re talking to prospective customers.  This means really understanding their lives, their motivations, their habits, and where things are risky and uncomfortable for them.  And I think that a lot of entrepreneurs don’t have a sense of that because they’re more willing to try new things while the majority of society is not.” 

And a last piece of excellent advice:  

“Be proactive before you invest your energy, your time, your resources, whatever it is. Go out and validate and ask questions. We have this view of overnight millionaires, as if entrepreneurship and risk-taking are like playing Russian Roulette or the lotto. They are not. The majority of risk taking is not about taking blind risks. You need to lower the risk for yourself. And turn your efforts into a much more organic growth process by going out and asking questions to validate your assumptions. And a lot of times we are hesitant to do that. We just kind of assume things instead.  We are hesitant to ask other people about things because we are afraid of looking like we don’t know. And sometimes we don’t ask because we don’t want to really hear the answer or are scared to hear the answer. But you have to do these things even if they scare you. Not for the purpose of sticking your head out. But for the purpose of getting the information you need to make a decision about what is the next right thing for you to do.” 

Very wise advice!  Thank you Joanna. 

Joanna Malaczynski founded DESi Potential, a consulting firm that helps innovative and emerging companies gain market traction.  Her work focuses on helping her clients understand their customer and develop an entrepreneurial mindset.  She brings 15 years of experience in analytical and creative thinking techniques to her work, drawing upon her background in entrepreneurship, economics, law, planning, sustainability and design.  Learn more at www.desipotential.com. 

Sydney Skinny!


Photo by Helmuts Rudzitis on Unsplash
Words by me (Fiona Whitehead) based on my own experience

A few weeks ago I took a big step out of my comfort zone!  

I did a group charity skinny dip. 

My body is generous. And my self-consciousness about this is often very high. After 30 + years of trying to diet my body into what society finds acceptable I discovered HAES. And I realised that maybe I should accept that I am not one of the 5% for whom diets are successful. That maybe it was time to stop trying to make my body a certain shape and size and instead focus on my health and fitness. That takes a lot of effort. Accepting my body as it is was one of the first steps, and it is taking me years. Stopping weighing myself was a lot easier, mostly. There are times when I have to provide my weight (such as for gliding) and despite my best self talk that can set me back into wanting to give dieting ‘one last try’. 

During this process I watched Taryn Brumfitt’s documentary “embrace”. And also skinny dipped with a dear friend for my very first time. And found myself intrigued by the idea of the Sydney Skinny. It is a skinny dip in Sydney that raises money for The Charlie Teo Foundation. You sign up for a ‘wave’ of people, in my case the women only wave, and at the allocated time you walk down to the beach, strip off and swim!  

Before the swim I was quite nervous. I had flown up to Sydney on my own, and was not even sure I could swim 300m in the ocean! Strangely the nakedness was not a part of my fear. 

It was a wet and cold Sydney Sunday in March when the event happened. In the waiting area above the beach everyone was crowded under a marquee, the only dryish place available. I ended up sharing my table with a group of fabulous women who were in my wave. Once they discovered I was on my own they ‘adopted’ me into their group. And so ended my fear of being alone! 

As the earlier waves started coming back up from the beach (wrapped in wet sarongs) they were talking about the shortening of the course due to the bad weather (it was not until later that I learned that was due to increased shark activity!). Fear number 2 was reducing now too. 

When our wave was called we headed out into the rain to start the 15 minute walk to the water. It was raining so hard I was wet through to my underwear by the time we reached the beach! 

We stripped off and placed our clothes on a convenient rock wall, about 20 metres from the water’s edge, turned and walked down to the starting point.  

There was so much laughter and joy.  

Such freedom.  

With many giggles and splashes we started our swim. More like 150m than 300 later I was done! It went so fast. I did slow down towards the end and just savoured the moment.  

A wet (due to the rain!) sarong was given to each of us as we exited and after some amusing photoshoots we made our way back to the top of the hill.  

It was as I was getting changed back into some dry clothes that I realised that I had not thought about my body size or shape at all during the event.  

Not been self-conscious.  

Not felt ‘different’. 

I think, though it is hard to be sure, that my body confidence has improved since then. There is something about being part of so much joy that makes the way your body looks feel less important. What you do with it takes precedence. Today I think I will do a little strutting with mine. Clothed of course.